Once upon a time, a footballer angry at being dropped stormed into his manager’s office to demand why he had been dropped.
Three minutes later, the door opened, the player came out smiling.
He was still dropped, but the manager made him feel a million dollars and gave him cause for optimism.
So, it goes in comms the skill to say ‘no’ is one we all need to have but so hard to do.
At commscamp Scotland, Bridget Aherne’s session entitled ‘How do we tell people to f**k off?’ should be included in the comms syllabus. Using the Chatham House rule, here’s a summary and some extra points that struck me.
Why saying ‘no’ is important
The middle manager demands posters, a video or an X account. You think its a bad idea. So, what do you do?
Unless you say ‘no’ from time-to- time you are little more than a glorified shorthand typist. It is your job as a communicator to help the organisation communicate. Unique amongst all jobs everyone thinks they can do it. Your skills and your advice is the reason why you are employed.
You are also setting boundaries. That’s important.
The art of saying ‘no’ is not saying no
There’s sometimes value in a flat ‘no’. But the best results, like the football manager with his angry player, sometimes are subtle. The best results often come not from a blunt refusal.
‘Yes, but…’
‘Yes, and…’
‘Yes, we can talk about posters, but what is it you are trying to achieve that I can help you with…?’
‘Can we just spend five minutes just seeing if there isn’t a better route?’
Saying ‘we’
If you listen to the language of good football managers, it’s often ‘we’. We need to pull together. We need to head in this direction. When the team loses everyone loses from the fans, team, manager and board of directors.
Using ‘we’ also starts to take the heat out of a possible confrontation. I’ve seen this done with clarity from the start.
‘We need to be clear that we are all on the same side here. I want you to be successful. We can do this by working together.’
Saying it with data
Perhaps, one of the most effective ways of steering people back onto the path of righteousness is with data. Former GCS head Alex Aiken would make the point correctly that to have the most amount of data in the room is the position comms should aim for.
Bring in the data that can help guide the decision making. I’ve long been an advocate for bringing together data in one page for your area. This came from an experience in local government when social media was evolving. We brought together population data, newspaper sales and social media use and gave it to a designer. They came back with an infographic that showed we knew what we were talking about but also took the sting out of confrontation. How? Because we could all look at the data.
‘Yes, let’s look at the data to see what that says. The Edelman Trust Barometer says that people like me are the most trusted group of people. Who is the audience we are trying gto reach so we know who to reflect back at them in the content…’
Tapping into their motivation
If you get to know your senior people you can start to know what makes them tick. So, the executive director who is risk averse can be won around by pointing out the risky consequences of doing nothing or taking that particular course of action.
‘We can do this, but I need to set out the risks involved…’
Asking what happens if we do nothing
With the situation at an impasse, the temptation may be for them to sit on their hands a while and put off making a decision. Asking what the consequences may be of doing nothing may start you both to map out the impact of inaction.
If you do nothing about AI, you may get sidelined, your skills will fall behind the expected level and you’ll find it difficult to find new work. So, doing nothing is a far riskier scenario than doing something. This can be the rocket fuel to move things forward.
‘What happens if we do nothing…?’
But the [insert name of senior person] wants it
We’ve all had it. The tactics rather than the plan or the conversation.
‘Can we just check what the [insert name of senior person] wants to achieve from this…?
‘I would not want to give that senior person the wrong advice…’
But they hold the budget
They hold the budget so think they can click their fingers to demand posters. This is a particularly patronising approach to be on the receiving end of.
‘I would not want to give the wrong advice to you as budget holder who would be accountable for the effectiveness of this spend…’
This can also need to this…
Create a barricade
Once, when a colleague was being pressed to do something they thought was unethical they asked for help. Before the crunch meeting I needed to be sure of my ground. I read through the organisation’s constitution to look for places where the constitution backed me up. I further backed this up by tracking down policies the organisation had agreed. I didn’t have to say ‘no’. I had created a barricade that would have stopped a Sherman tank in its tracks. It w2asn’t me saying ‘no’ it was the constitution.
This then allows you to introduce an alternative scenario which leads you all away from danger.
‘I’d love to but the constitution says this…’
Professionalise it
From time to time the pressure may be to take a course of action that is unethical. Quoting the CIPR Code of Conduct in extreme circumstances is sometimes a useful reminder that you are professional too.
‘I’m afraid, I couldn’t be associated with this, this breaches my professional code of conduct.’
Set out the advice in writing
You’ve had the conversation and you’ve maybe set out your thoughts. Re-summarise them in writing for the benefit of clarity and posterity. This avoids history being re-written in the future.
‘In my professional opinion…’
‘In my respectful submission…’
‘If this situation was to escalate, I need to be clear in the advice that I’m offering…’
Make sure the head of comms has your back
All this sounds great in theory and as you go through your career this can get easier. But those at the start of their career need the back-up of senior people. If you are a manager or a head of comms you need to deploy that gold braid to support your staff.
Give them the confidence that you’ve got their back.
Remember, you are giving advice
Of course, we are only giving advice. There may be hills to die on and this one may not be your hill.
I can recall having a very vivid thought when I was offering advice. I am on the touchline, and I’m shouting to our centre-forward that there’s an easy goal if they just side-foot it into the empty net. Most people would take that advice but occasionally, they would score an own goal instead. That’s on them. You’ve given the advice you can. What happens next is not on you it’s on them.
Big thanks to people who attended the commscamp Scotland session.
I deliver training to help you make sense of the changing landscape ESSENTIAL AI FOR PUBLIC SECTOR COMMS, ESSENTIAL COMMS SKILLS BOOSTER, ESSENTIAL MEDIA RELATIONS and ESSENTIAL VIDEO SKILLS REBOOTED.
Picture credit: ‘Llandudno’ By Eirian Evans, CC BY-SA 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9231772